Tuesday, June 3, 2014

how to wish well one not known - the sonnet


Fiction is that she cares if i'm cruel , 
which i am not , anymore than she cares - 
enough though i'd rather be thought a fool
than harm mine whose hunger's so full it tears.

So like an ancient scribe's fantasy
of flesh and blood cloaked in goddess form
or fearful practice rehearsed by proxy
i thrash demons in ways outside the norm .

If there be lives affected , be it well
for generosity freely given
might ring human hearts hocked to that long bell
with more than madness at being driven.

I cannot stop time's effect on beauty
but muse kindness for hearts of such duty .

Monday, April 28, 2014

doubt - the sonnet


Doubt is by definition - illusion.
One lives, or dies and nothing will stop that.
Religion and faith add more confusion
by giving credence to a kind of hat.

Faith in day during night welcomes the dawn
much as love blunts loss while it wears down grief.
Again life sniffs its muzzle like a fawn .  . 
CLAP ! goes thunder - fear being the fucking thief.

What is, will always be that which one does,
be that sucking for air from a wave-ride
or clawing for same after a war-plane's buzz; 
There's always choice - with, or against the tide.

This choice is not always easy to see,
and doubt that not, for it's reality.

042814 jts
more @ http://stoneartist.com

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Ma as Metaphor

If you are born, even hatched as Hank Williams has sung about - you have a mother. It is from she you have arrived on this planet to share - you with her ; she with you and us with each other. That is a pretty huge concept - from nothing, to as the Hebrews believe an entire universe in a single soul. Nor is it possible to reverse course - we move in the same direction as time from start to finish; does time have a mother from which it springs? Our capacity to modify these events now surpasses our understanding of either origin or destination, for we are approaching a point where mother as host is no longer a condition of birth. Is time and its origins as easily dislodged from its roots as we have been by our artificial cultural model? When I was young, the capitalist empire was in the process of stretching its wings and its capacity for manipulation of the young through TV. I can vividly recall seeing exactly how my life would be magically completed if I could persuade my cheapskate parents to run out and buy the item I saw repeatedly in the commercials. Both parents were children of the “Great Depression,” so inspiring them to participate in my consumer salvation was often futile. It was about this same time when the roles for parent and family were subjected to foreign and often contradictory influences. Not foreign as in the xenophobic snarl of war propagandists, but closer to the siren song of mythology - incessant without rising to the threshold of awareness. 
Cultural ethics at that time were in part propagated through folk homilies like, a stitch in time saves nine; keeping up with the Jones’s, or not throwing stones if you live in glass houses. Television was still in service of the greater good - my elementary school actually brought the 2 TVs and the student body into the auditorium to watch the first man in space, or second; I forget which. But when the world and its cruelty came for me, it was ma I went crying to, like she had gone to her mother when it happened to her and her mother and father had gone to their mothers, etc. We as a species have handed down cultural norms from generation to generation - those kindnesses that have inspired new epochs in human civilization may have been informed by church, or books, or tradition, but the actual implementation has been largely from parent to child; this is no longer the case. The filter of ma has been replaced by an image on screen. Where my school would never have conceived of asking permission to show students the first space shot; schools are now under assault by moneyed interests who lay claim to the prerogative of what is acceptable and what is not - a moral determination. I was lucky, my family ( read ma’s opinion ) was of the high minded sort, and as with most luck, it cuts both ways.
Suffice it to say ma’s wide ranging interests include specific and rapidly evolving ideas concerning the greatest variety of nuances about most things which when one is very young can be quite useful around hot stoves, not as much after one has broken bones. More luck - an apple could still be pie when I was young, and ma made the finest apple pies I’ve ever tasted - ever. Today, not only has the apple been entirely subsumed by a logo, but that luxurious recollection of hot apple pie has been conflated with an eternal screen stream of empty demands insinuating themselves as personal objectives - definitions of happiness. As with all found luck, there are two sides, and this wannabe fountain of life conforms to other binary fundamentals - on/off; +5v/-5v; yes/no etc. The actual analog of our existence is more like moss to a mountain; it cares not a whit whether we adhere or not; whereas the media fountain of life being fashioned shackle-like to us by bean counters using electronic tethers is entirely predicated on our participation - chew on that for a minute - there is literally nothing to the internet without human contribution .  .  . ( a contribution you pay “them” to create . ) The modern vernacular while quite crude in the sense of lacking nuance or fineness can be useful; for example; WTF would perfectly fit the idea of being digitally - fleeced, or for the retentive - probed, WTF of course being the acronym of “what the fuck.” ?
While social engineering depicts today’s current peril, in carnivalesque computer generated flourishes there are even larger forces afoot than the imaginary underpinnings of today’s great worth. For example, the Bush family has closed escrow on the largest freshwater aquifer in the world - located at the Brazilian/Argentine border. They did not do this because of nobility, but because from their perspective they can see trajectories of demand for fresh water which allows great “profit taking” with enough capital - demands exacerbated by worldwide fracking technology. My only real objection to this transaction is that it lacks any contribution to humanity - this absence of morality is no longer a luxury the world can support. The fake mothering of the media has you believing you’re just thirsty for something in a bottle magically close - in less than 10 years the Bushes of the world have entirely convinced a planetary population that bottled water is more normal than a faucet, or a stream even. So why would you believe they couldn't fake a mother using an electronic tit - the bosom of belonging an app on your phone? Why else do you suppose the fascist dog whistle of the right is shredding woman; do you honestly think a yutz with teabags taped to his Budweiser cap came up with “barefoot and pregnant” all by himself. These corrosive policies are the result of a few hundred very small frightened people without work or purpose, but who believe like the United States Supreme Court that money talks and lots of money talks a lot . Where i come from : talk is cheap .
My mother carried me to term - 9 months and depending on the era or the attributed angst, I was as big as Godzilla or a month and a half in the delivery room. What is fact, I was Frank Breech folded at the waist, ass-first; no one can ever know of that experience, save ma and myself - each from vastly different perspectives. I try to understand her pain - to know what torments her heart and seemingly forces her to do what she does, or to know what prevents her from joy and celebration of what she has done if what I suspect is true. I feel none of this compassion or care for any part of the charade being trotted out as “civilization” by the incessant nag from our adoptive nurturer - the wannabe tit. Nor do I reject this fake nipple exclusively because of the goat’s milk they doused me with as an infant, it is from the confusion and conflict that was inherent to my family, to all families which have made substance all that I can choke down. Fake anything - pales compared to a mother’s pain, anyone’s pain. Suffering cannot be coded - there is no green screen large enough that will ever explain the misery being unleashed on today’s world - The “Cancer Trains” from the GMO-poisoned fields of Punjab; the fire-storms of the droughted-radioactive Pacific West, or the stifled cry of the human heart from anyone without enough of what they need and too much fear of what they don’t need. My ma cannot save me, nor I her, but I am obliged to do everything possible to create meaning from the joy, as well as the misery that ma has given me breath to know. If these words were found amongst the last written by human, would they explain anything about our species’ final throes ?
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Sunday, March 30, 2014

love - the sonnet

i learned love at home with my family
we were good at it, and we had much fun.
Mom and Pop, Brad, Kristin, and Casey,
the tree we're from is the same one you're on.

Somehow that love turned hard; we talk no more,
but love is rugged - deeper than vain pride.
We are leaves learning where sun will hit floor,
for love, like light, moves; it cannot be tied.

I use light without permission
making life interesting but lonely.
Some want to make love into a mission
which feels the same hearing, " if he'd only .  .  . "

i love whether it comes this way or no,
because to have fun, ya' do what you know .

30 March 2014, its
more @ http://stoneartist.com 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

civilization - the sonnet

A generation of fake excitement
making end days is rich irony,
unless you are buried in excrement.
it's hard to laugh in that reality.

Funny though - closer we get, farther we are;
far from being one - barely know how many - 
the flaw being this: many can't see that far,
most picking a nose, waiting for mommy .  .

And we all know that you can pick your friends
and your nose, but cannot pick your friend's nose.
At collapse we'll see how far our being bends,
where if noble, seen by the one who knows.

My guess is our cosmic hiccup, while grand,
is best seen from what we do when we stand.

jts 19 March 2014

Monday, March 10, 2014

India - the sonnet


I made weapons to kill for Mir Ali;
though Muslim, he came from India
and dotted every "i"; crossed every "t"
his name approved my deadly media.

Now i don't want his job or the lucre
but empty my soul through hammer and chisel.
Knowing it's gone, what's left of my life,
grateful for what i find, big and little.

Little is what i need, big would be stone -
and paying much for a hovel makes no sense,
so if for drawings that kill, i must atone
i'll bring money to those carving for cents.

To have - one gives; so i'll give what i want
bringing aid for carving comrades more gaunt.

jts 10 March 2014

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Valentine's Day - the sonnet


Ma turned me out when i was in high school
and again this Valentine's day - okay ?
Maybe right , maybe wrong , maybe useful .
If i can still love , it is a good day . 

When in high school , i was sure about love ,
today i use a muse to love through art 
i brought ma a portrait of she above ;  
it may help ma to see me in my heart .

Now of all there is , it's all i want 
love of art is what i found without ties ;
and the fear and hurt contained by a taunt
can be best blunted where the love will rise .

I am alone , i judge that's not too bad , 
for the love i learned was at home as a lad .

jts 021614
more @ http://stoneartist.com