hate

I have wasted more time than i am comfortable admitting immersed in the corrosive vacuum of hate, and i’m not a hater. Why would anybody, given the vast array of choices in this human experience, waste time or focus on hate? I maintain that if we don’t find a way to transmute this venomous emotion into constructive heartfelt hard work we’re fucked - some people will hate me for saying that; not the content of the stated idea, but the use of the word “fuck.” I hate that we can be so easily distracted by inflammatory language, and still people will be more offended that I swore than any expression of hatred I’ve made. Anger, rage, ire come upon you like the ocean slamming to shore or trickled like death from a thousand cuts, but it still arises and dissipates like ebb & flow of tidal waters - hate is different because it must be tended with attention, strategy, and justification. Anger is something one can quiet with patience and kindness - hatred has legs and will travel miles or centuries to satisfy its blood lust, for what . ? At least with anger one can enjoy the visceral primeval gut feeling in a world gone numb, however necessary it may be to overcome, transmute, tame, cajole or abandon: whereas hate is a choice you make to preserve it, cart it, dilute, or assign it. Hatred has no substance of its own. It relies on the good offices of its host to share and propagate otherwise it withers and fades unable to attract the life force which anger is an intrinsic part of.

For this reason hatred has never held a place high in my imagination or given much credence in the world I seek. Its adherents tend to be weak-minded and lazy rarely demonstrating much initiative for ameliorating those pockets of pus which hatred holds close to its cankerous heart. However, hatred is also a covert coward knowing it can only take form as a reflection of the life force available to its close companion anger and is often difficult to tell one from the other. Hatred is the more insidious of the two for the simple reason it must be preserved and passed on to be of any use. I cannot fathom how that might be accomplished given the toxic nature of this emotion. It has taken an act of will for me to write on the subject and that only for its destruction or neutering. Which is not to say I’ve lived free of destructive and quite dark fantasies. Someone once advocated that to have any thought is “okay,” the danger is in acting on that thought. For a time it was liberating to be sanctioned for animal thinking, as much a relief from guilt for contemplating the destruction or harm of/to another. There is zero value and great cost to conduct violence of any kind, which should only be resorted to as Lao Tzu has said “with great sadness“ when faced with no other choice - there’s always another choice .  .  

Lao Tzu formulated his ideas when it was not possible to sit at a console in Nevada and blow up a car and family anywhere in the world. Physical violence today is merely an extension of the shrill hateful demands on what you should feel or think which replaced conversations we used to have. I prefer dialogue but in lieu of that social pleasure I resort to the internet or what’s left of it to advocate love. There is a duality to our predicament, and though the choice to love may seem “lofty,” it is more practical. There are cataclysms cascading into our future needlessly for, from and to hateful ends. The level of violence that sits at the end of a joystick is only an expression of our culture’s immersion in hate, and should not be confused with either strength or power. Never in the history of our planet has war, what is now “chronic war” achieved anything except a path to the next war. The talking heads only seem to disagree whether we should be walking in single file, pell mell or scurrying hurly burly. When a creature attacks, you fight or run; but even the destructive capacity of empire is useless against the onslaught of love, for love describes contentment and satisfaction which are anathema to the consumer pimps and their cloying media whimper about how you need to achieve what they have - with my apologies to pimps everywhere.

Yet even in the instance of a sustained attack or grievous injury you are a dead man if you succumb to hate or believe there is any reason for destruction other than to encourage growth. Socrates had said “the secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new.” I used an example of a necrotizing spider bite for provocation in an essay on ire, for fear rage and anger are all close cousins. When I understood this creature, or creatures were able to inflict a wound which would cause my flesh to feed on itself it was not hatred for this or any other thing which compelled me to heal, it was love, of life, the power of healing even love for the poor creature bringing me the lesson likely at the cost of its own life. However, there is no lock on fighting hate: “It is not possible to eradicate evil for every solution breeds a new problem” Sheldon B Kopp’s “Eschatological Laundry List.” For example, statistically the mosquito is the most deadly of all creatures to the human race, a fact about to be reversed once Monsanto and Bedbug Inc agree to terms for its hosting the Ebola Virus. The a steep rise in cost for fresh water has created market demand for a more efficient method to cull the herd.

Yes it is true - hatred, my own. Having hosted a bedbug hive, I struggle to excoriate the pernicious venom of hate infecting my heart; monsatan - well, any entity that would interrupt the regeneration of seeds for profit is lower than a bedbug, and you know how I feel about them. Hate traipses through the landscape in camouflage, dressed up as reason and adhered to through coercion but remains no more than an exclamation mark to Bertrand Russell’s irrefutable point - “love is wise - hatred is foolish.“ Buddha said of hate “a poison one drinks expecting someone else to die. Love is not just the antidote to rancor; love is all we have left to echo any frequency of value into the ether. Our ability to become aware of not just our own mortality but also our role in the potential destruction of our species will only gain “legs” through a determination to care for unborn generations whom we have by sins of commission or omission thus far consigned to lives of depravation and torment unknown to the human experience; besides everyone knows the prettiest girls don’t do haters .  .  

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